Our Adoption Journey Part 4
I can’t believe how fast time as gone and here we are at the end of our one to one sessions with our social worker. As much as I absolutely adore the social worker assigned to us, id be lying if I said I’m going to miss these sessions. As I said in part 3 of our adoption journey talking in depth about every aspect of yours and your partner life with a complete stranger is incredible taxing.
Last week we had our final session, it wasn’t like a formal session like the previous ones covering a particular topic this was more of a mop up session to fill in any gaps in our report. By now our social worker has met with all of our references and spoken to each of our parents. Which I was super nervous because just like my family has a tendency to over share. Not like they would say anything detrimental but they aren’t the most tactful - and thats why I love them right?
When they met my sister who is literally one of the most important and influential people in my life they asked the usual questions you’d expect. As the point of meeting references is to built a better picture of what we are like as a couple and also to make sure we aren’t lying about anything. She asked what we are like as a couple. are we good with children, is she excited for an addition to our family, will we be good parents in her opinion and why we don’t argue. This has been a point of contention with our social worker. She’s shocked that Sam and I don’t really argue, In fact we’ve only had one major argument in our entire relationship and that happened 2 weeks into it. When she asked my sister why we don’t get irate with one another and argue my sister said “Sam and Stevie are one of those sickly, it only happens in the movie couple who just don’t argue”. Which I think is incredibly cute and the truth is nothing really bothers us that much and when issues do arise we talk through them, I guess thats why we’re perfect together. Now back to my family over sharing and not being so tactful. When our social worker asked what do we do to prevent arguments in our relationship my sister replied with the incredibly crude comment of “I guess they must masturbate a lot”. Now to most people that is not something to say to a social worker and I wanted to bury myself once I found out, but my sister has an incredible talent at making people laugh and getting everyone to like her. Luckily my social work is super down to earth and incredibly informal and couldn’t stop laughing at the comment.
Another topic she covered with my sister is about her and her partner (my best friend) being the legal guardians to our child if something was to ever happen to myself and Sam. Of course I don’t want to imagine something bad happening to myself and Sam however as part of the adoption you have to cover all bases.
I mentioned last time we’ve been volunteering at a local nursery to give us more experience with children around the age of the child we hope to adopt. Again I can’t tell you how invaluable this has been and as much as our formal sessions are over I will definitely still be spending a morning a week at the nursery. Now for the part of the adoption process I have been dreading for months! Our nursery observation. I don’t want to toot my own horn or anything but I’m good with children. I’m not afraid to make myself look silly, I love soft play and I challenge you to find someone who is better at building lego than I am. Yet children can be incredibly flippant, one week they are my best friend and they next they don’t even wanna know my name. So you can see why the prospect of having my social worker, the person who is responsible for making a decision as to whether I can parent a child or not come and observe me with children.
I was so nervous as we walked through the doors to sign in at the nursery. For me who is usually pretty confident when I am nervous is visible. Thankfully as soon as I was done jotting my name on the paper register I was greeting by my favourite child at the nursery. I know you shouldn’t have favourites but I’ve really bonded with this little kid. He’s super cute, incredibly chatty and doesn’t like to play with any of the other adults only me. All my nervs melted away when I head his familiar voice say “Oh hi best friend I’ve missed you, do you want to play with me today”. As soon as I saw him and he ran over and hugged me I knew I’d be fine in this observation.
Thankfully both Sam and I passed the observation with flying colours, which was a huge weight off my shoulders.
On our way home as our social worker was packing her things into her car it hit me that the next time we see her will be the day we’re sat in front of panel together. The day when a group of strangers makes the most important decision of our lives, whether or not they make our dreams come true.