We Are Adopting A Baby!
Having children is something sam & I have spoken about since we first got together. Coming from a big family I couldn’t imagine not having children of my own so I wanted to make sure from the get go we were on the same page. I’m not saying I turned up to our first date, sat down with my coffee and shouted “SO WHEN WE GETTING PREGNANT”.
We first started to talk about having a family of our own around March last year whilst we were sunning ourselves in Thailand. Being in a same sex couple there are a few extra hurdles you encounter when it comes to having children. I mean we don’t exactly have womb laying around - so it makes things little more challenging.
We had the discussion of Adoption vs Surrogacy. I’m not saying one is better than the other, because each works for different couples but for us surrogacy wasn’t the right fit. We were both of the opinion that there are already enough children in the world who might have had a rough start in life and are craving a loving environment to thrive in. We think we can provide that environment, and although we might not be there for the very start of their life we will definitely make up for it as the years go on.
Throughout last year we began to talk more and more about kids, I become increasingly broody - spending more time looking at the baby clothes in NEXT. I mean c’mon they’re adorable.
Then came the question of “is now the right time?”. Yes we’ve done our research we know how adoption works, we understand whats involved and that children are the biggest commitment. But we had no reason to put it off. Why were waiting when we’ve both been obsessed with the idea of starting a family for so long. We’re married, we’ve travelled the world, we’ve built an adorable home and we’ve got our little fur baby Edna - so what was stopping us?
It turns out nothing was stopping and thats why we’ve registered for adoption. We’re currently in what they call stage 1 , which is what happens after you’ve been to an information evening, registered your interest in adoption and had a social worker come and assess your home. Believe me my house has never been cleaner, not like it’s ever dirty but when you know you’ve got somebody coming round to evaluate how fitting your house is for a child you can’t help but get out the scrubbing brushes!
In terms of the home visit - it really wasn’t as bad as I was expecting. I thought she’d be checking if we had lockable windows, fire alarms or anything potentially hazardous. All she was looking for is that we live in a good area for kids - close to parks, play areas that kind of thing. That we had the space for a child and that Edna was good with people. I made it into such a big deal when actually she spent about 5 minutes looking at the house and the rest of time getting to know us.
During this visit is when the social worker will gather as much information about you as possible. Why adoption? Why now? How long have you been together? what age would you prefer? what gender? What is your family like? essentially they’re building a picture of what we are like as a couple and what our wider support network is like. This helps them see which children might be a good match for us as well as seeing if we are ready. Thankfully everything went smoothly and now like I mentioned we’re sat in stage 1.
This stage from what I gather doesn’t involve the social workers too much. During stage 1 is when all of the checks are undertaken. Financial background, criminal checks, references from friends and family, employment references and a medical.
This is where we are right now. We’ve completed all of our forms, asked family and friends to be references and booked our medical and now we wait. It’s daunting to know all of this is happening in the background. But exciting because we’re one step closer to welcoming a little one into our family - and I can’t wait!
Thanks for the support on our journey - feel free to watch the below all about our adoption journey so far
Love ya guys,